Birds or Blokes
by quidditchmum
Summary: A championship run has sent Holyhead Harpies captain Gwenog Jones a bit off her nut and her teammates and their loved ones are paying the price. Harry and Ginny plot and scheme to teach Gwenog that there is more to life than quidditch but may be in for a,
1. The Predicament

Chapter One

The Predicament

"About bloody time," muttered Ginny Potter as the long overdue sound of Gwenog Jones' whistle finally reached her ears. She pulled up on her Firebolt and landed on the quidditch pitch with a thud. She was quickly joined on the ground by her beleaguered teammates.

"Quick showers ladies," bellowed Gwenog. "Mandatory team meeting in fifteen minutes."

The team let out a collective groan and followed their coach and captain towards the locker room, dragging their brooms behind them. Their day off had already gone up in flames when Gwenog called them in for an emergency training session and kept them in the air for hours running mindless, repetitive drills. Now she was going to make them sit through another mind-numbing meeting.

The Holyhead Harpies had finished top of the table of the English Quidditch League and the first match of the league playoffs was in less than a week. The prospects of defending their title had obviously sent their captain around the twist. She was riding the team harder than ever and it was beginning to wear on her players.

Ginny was especially miffed with Gwenog as she had missed out on the day she had planned with Harry and Teddy. Her husband was always tolerant about the ups and downs of her quidditch career but their time together in the last month had been scarce and she was antsy. Plus, she hadn't spent any significant time with Teddy in months and they had a special day planned. She hated breaking a promise to him.

She quietly groused to herself about psychotic quidditch captains needing to get a life, throwing in an occasional expletive while hauling her aching carcass to the showers.

"They say talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity, you know."

Ginny was so immersed in her internal monologue that she missed the raven-haired man leaning against the wall at the entrance to the Harpies' locker room.

"It's a close call," she said as her face brightened considerably. "I think if I'd have spent one more minute on my broom this afternoon I'd be certifiable."

Harry Potter pushed himself off the wall and took her into his arms. "That bad, eh?"

"Absolutely dreadful," she hissed. "I can't believe she messed up a perfectly good day off for this. We spent the whole afternoon doing fitness and running the most basic drills. It's like being back on a Hogwarts' house team."

"Hey!" Harry protested.

"Without the devastatingly handsome quidditch captain, of course," she said coyly as she began to toy with the collar of his shirt.

"Hmph!" Harry muttered as he drew her into a kiss, somewhat mollified. "I just dropped Teddy off and since Gwenog train wrecked our day, I thought we could grab dinner here and I'd stay over with you at the flat tonight. At least we can still make an evening of it."

"Hold that thought," she said pulling away before Harry had a chance to deepen the kiss. "Bellatrix, I mean Gwenog, called a team meeting. I've just got a few minutes to grab a quick shower. No telling how long she'll keep us. I'll catch up with you at the flat as soon as I can escape.

Harry nodded his assent and Ginny leaned in for another quick kiss before entering the locker room.

Nearly two hours later Harry was abruptly awakened from a kip on the sofa when Ginny stumbled out of the fireplace in an obvious rage. Her face was bright red, her eyes were dark and narrow and she was screeching so rapidly the only phrases Harry was able to make out were "bugger and blast and bloody bint".

Harry knew that there were two irrefutable facts regarding Ginny in a temper. One, she was downright scary - a bit like her mum in that - and two, she was undeniably sexy. Except for the quick shag before she left for the pitch this morning, Harry had enjoyed almost no intimate time with his wife in the last two weeks, so he was particularly attuned to the undeniable sexiness of her current temper. Harry's thoughts did not have time to develop any further in that direction as Ginny's teammate, Hadley Smith, followed immediately behind her out of the fireplace. Her disposition did not seem to be much better than Ginny's and her mouth was moving almost as quickly.

Ginny and Hadley, also a chaser, were the only married Harpies and kept the small two-bedroom flat in Holyhead together for when they had to be with the team for extended periods of time. Although it sat empty for much of the year it provided them a comfortable home away from home when they were in training camp or had back-to-back matches and needed to stay close to the team. It spared them the drama of living in the dorm with a dozen single witches and provided some privacy when their respective spouses could sneak away for a visit. Harry surprised Ginny with the purchase after Gwenog had interrupted a rather personal moment between them in the club's broomshed during her rookie training camp. It had been well worth the galleons as it provided them a hint of normalcy in spite of both women dealing with high-pressure careers.

"I'm afraid to ask," Harry said as he drew himself up from the couch and tentatively approached his wife.

"You have nothing to fear but Gwenog Jones is very lucky not to have bat bogies flying from every orifice and if she's wise she'll sleep with at least one eye open for the foreseeable future," Ginny ranted.

"The meeting was that bad then?"

"The meeting was exactly like all the others she's called since we started our playoff run," Ginny started. "Until the end that is."

"Our esteemed captain in her infinite wisdom has decided that our team needs to bond if we are going to win another championship," Hadley continued. "She's brought in a mind healer that specializes in athletic performance who will be working with us individually and as a team throughout the playoffs.

"Okay so that sounds a little out there, but not the end of the world," Harry said.

"That's just it. Part of the team bonding," Ginny said while making quote marks with her fingers "Requires us to stay in the dorms through the championship."

"Oh," Harry's shoulders visibly sank at this news. Even though they both had demanding careers, Harry disliked living apart from Ginny and took great pains to avoid it. As far as he was concerned almost a year apart during the war and another year whilst Ginny finished Hogwarts was enough to last a lifetime. After he completed his first year as an auror, he played the rarely used "Savior of the Wizarding World" card and let it be known through the Minister of Magic himself that he would tolerate very few extended assignments in the field. He promised Ginny when she took him back after the war that he would never leave her behind again and that was one way he went about keeping his promise. Plus, he just really couldn't abide being away from her for long. He didn't sleep well and after a few days he tended to get a little broody, as Hermione was always quick to point out.

"And, our time with friends and family is to be strictly monitored and very limited," Hadley added, still trying to hold her temper. "Mostly just after matches and one two-hour family visit per week."

"Merlin knows Gwenog would never give up the post-match pub crawl," Ginny said. "I swear that woman could drink Seamus under the table."

Harry was clearly disappointed with the news but took a deep breath and tried to make the best of it for Ginny. "Well I guess we will have to make the most of tonight then."

"Oh no, the bloody bint couldn't even give us tonight," Ginny said bitterly. "We've been given two hours to gather whatever personal belongings we will need for a month and then we are on house arrest. Just because she obviously has no life outside quidditch the rest of us aren't allowed to either."

"Did anyone challenge her on it?" Harry asked.

"Of course not," Hadley said. "We all sat there and smiled like good little Harpies. She's bloody Gwenog Jones. We're all scared to death of her!"

"Ginny's not scared of anyone." Harry said and raised an eyebrow.

"Almost anyone," Ginny said.

Harry volunteered to pick up some takeaway so that the girls could pack. He apparated to the alley behind their favorite Indian restaurant and while he was waiting for their curries to be prepared he leaned up against the bar and wracked his brain for a way to avoid spending a month without Ginny.

Back at the flat, Ginny was fiercely cramming items into her trunk and wondering the same thing. She was determined to figure something out. After all, Harry had defeated Voldermort and she was related to the twins, between the two of them she was sure they could handle Gwenog Jones.


	2. The Plan

**Chapter Two**

**The Plan**

The boxes of take away Harry procured were spread across the small kitchen table. Hadley and her husband Ewan, who had flooed over immediately after a somewhat desperate call from his wife, sat across the table from Harry and Ginny while they hurriedly ate and discussed their predicament.

"Seriously, are we adults or wee children?" Ginny asked clearly exasperated. Perhaps it was because she was the youngest and felt like she had eight minders growing up, but she really hated being told what to do. Treating her like a child was the one sure way to wind up on the wrong side of her temper as Harry and all her brothers had learned the hard way and Gwenog Jones was about to discover.

"We've really got it a lot better than witches that play on some of the other teams," Hadley said. "Not that it's written on parchment anywhere but some of the teams have a strict no married witches policy."

"That's outrageous!" Ginny was appreciative of the opportunity to play quidditch for a living but she was bewildered by the somewhat shoddy way some of the teams treated their female players. At least they didn't have too worry much about that with the Harpies.

"It's true," Hadley continued. "The Kestrels put my friend Jayne on waivers the second her engagement notice hit The Prophet."

"That's got to be illegal!" Ginny ranted. "Sod elves and other magical creatures. Hermione needs to draft some legislation for the ethical treatment of quidditch playing witches!"

"I'll be sure to let her know you think so when I'm over at their house sulking tomorrow." Harry said. "What would that be anyway, L.E.T.Q.P.W? Not as catchy as S.P.E.W., I'm afraid."

"I do appreciate the way that Gwenog has gone to bat for us with the Federation and the Harpies on that front." Ginny was well aware of some of the battles Gwenog had fought for equal treatment of witches especially early in her career. "She was great when I told her we were getting married although she has threatened my life if I get pregnant any time soon and personally supervises me taking the potion every month."

"Me too," Hadley said.

"So what's got her knickers in a twist now?" Ginny served herself up a second serving of curry and added some more to Harry's plate as well. "She wasn't like this during the playoffs last year. Personal issues aside, if she keeps working us at this pace we'll be too worn out to perform. She's got us scheduled for two-a-days up until match day. That's unheard of."

"And last year we stayed with the team two days before each match," Hadley said. "There was no taking us prisoner for a month. And we bloody won!"

"Maybe it's time to put your Weasley heritage to good use and treat her to a prank," Harry suggested.

"We need her in one piece for the match so it can't be anything particularly violent or long lasting though." Hadley had heard tales of some of the Weasleys' more memorable pranks.

"I'm not against a prank per se, but I'm not sure a prank really helps us with our current situation," Ginny said. "What we need is more of a distraction really."

The room went silent.

"Er, you remember when I had to be out in the field for a while and Ron and the other blokes would rag me about being perpetually shirty with them after I'd been away from home for a few days?" Harry blushed, as this was not a subject he wished to raise in mixed company, but desperate times called for desperate action.

"Yes, I vividly remember my dear brother, who usually throws a wobbly anytime he sees us so much as kiss, sneaking me into your camp to help you, ah, relieve some tension."

"So…"

"Harry Potter! Are you suggesting that we need to get Gwenog laid?"

"Well…" he shrugged.

"It would be a distraction," Hadley said. "I haven't seen her with anyone in ages and you're the one who's always saying she needs to get a life."

Ginny rested her chin on both hands and pondered Harry's suggestion thoughtfully. "I agree it has potential. Harry, in your line of work you must run across some blokes who do that sort of thing for a living."

"Ginny, I'm an auror for Godric's sake!" Harry's eyes widened and he looked at her like she had truly lost her nut. "I can't go out and hire a rent boy to shag your boss!"

"Well it was your idea!"

"He has a point," Hadley said. "I guess it'll have to be someone we know. Who do we know that's a sure thing?"

"Seamus," Harry and Ginny both said together.

"He's a sure thing alright but isn't he a bit young for her?" Hadley asked. Seamus Finnigan's reputation with the ladies had moved beyond Hogwarts long ago and he _was_ known to frequent the Harpies' post-match parties.

"Charlie," Harry suggested.

"He's definitely available and has a way with the witches but sadly he's in Romania," Ginny said. "Last owl I had from him he wasn't sure he would be able to get away for any of the playoff matches. What about that bloke you and Ron are always on about? The one that likes to brag about his conquests at work?"

"Richards? That might work. I'm sure he'd be up for it." Justin Richards was an auror who was several years older than Harry and Ron and always seemed to go home with a different witch whenever they went to the pub after work.

"Is he attractive?" Ginny asked.

"I guess, if you go for the muscle bound, pretty boy, Cormac McClaggen type."

"Personally I prefer the messy-haired skinny but fit type myself, but I can see how the other might appeal to Gwenog." Ginny smiled, leaned over, mussed up Harry's hair and quickly brushed his lips with hers.

Ewan who had been quietly observing the banter around the table like a spectator at a quidditch match finally spoke. "Are we sure it's blokes she fancies?"

"Now that you mention it, I can't say I've seen her with anyone other than a quick flirt at the pub." Ginny said. "You've been with the team a year longer than me Hadley, what do you think?"

"Hmmm, not really sure now that you mention it."

"Maybe she doesn't fancy blokes at all. Perhaps she prefers birds," Ewan chimed in." She is a quidditch player."

Harry quickly looked to Ginny, fearing for Ewan's life but it was Hadley that spoke. "That is such a stereotype and might I remind you that you are hoping to get a leg over with your quidditch player before we're locked up for the better part of a month?"

"Just winding ya up love." He gave her a cheeky grin and a smack on the lips.

"It's a fair point though," said Ginny thoughtfully. "Do we really know if she's into witches or wizards?"

"Well, she certainly has a fondness for Harry's arse," Hadley said. "I've noticed her giving it the once over whenever he's round the pitch."

"Can't say I blame her there," Ginny said while reaching over and giving Harry's bum a firm squeeze. "You do have a lovely arse Harry."

"Er," Harry pinkened slightly and felt a slight twitch in his trousers. "That may be true, about her admiring my, er, arse. She does flirt with me a bit but the thing is, Ginny, I think I've, er, noticed her eyeing your arse a time or two."

"Well it's no secret that I also have a fine arse. I placed top ten in _Witch Weekly's _Best Bums in Quidditch Survey, second only to Oliver Wood."

"Don't remind me!" growled Harry. "I still have the t-shirt George charmed to flash 'I Sleep with the Second Best Bum in Quidditch'."

Harry could laugh about it now, sort of, but at the time he wasn't prepared for the especially lewd fan mail his wife received after _that_ article was published. He thought little of the raunchy propositions and articles of clothing he received in the mail from admirers. The same could not be said when Ginny received a photo of some bloke's bits and a room key. It took all his self-control not to put the full force of the Auror Department towards tracking the git down and shipping him straight to Azkaban. He and Ron did manage to track him down eventually and he was confident the wanker wouldn't be corresponding with Ginny again. Of course, she didn't need to know that.

"We need a plan, and quickly. Bed check is in less than an hour and I plan to spend some quality time with Harry's lovely arse while I have the chance." Ginny called the room back to attention.

Harry shifted in his chair. There was that twitch again.

"Ginny and I will do a little research before the match," Hadley said. "What says team bonding better than coaxing the sexual preference out of a teammate?"

"But just to be safe, we need to hedge our bets and have a bird and a bloke at the pub after the match on Sunday," Ginny said. "Harry's in charge of lining up a potential wizard. Who knows an attractive witch who swings that way?"

"Again, quidditch players," Ewan said.

Ginny glared in his direction but Hadley cleared her throat and spoke. "I actually do know a couple of unattached quidditch players from when I was with the Kestrels. At least they were unattached last I heard. That's an avenue I can explore."

Ewan smirked in triumph but Ginny didn't take the bait. "Okay, to recap the plan, Harry will secure a willing and able bloke and ensure his presence at the post-match party on Sunday. Hadley will do the same but with a willing and able witch. Ewan, you may have to provide some assistance with that since we'll be locked up in less than an hour if you're not too busy with the sensitivity training you obviously need. Meanwhile, I will consult with Harry and perhaps George regarding potential pranks. Lord knows if we are going to be forced to be celibate for the next month, we'll need to do something to let off some steam. We will only communicate by owl or by secure floo since this mission is top secret."

"You missed your calling love," Harry said. "You should be heading up the Auror Department."

"I learned from the best, love. Speaking of being locked up in less than an hour, if you two will excuse us, I have an appointment with Harry's arse." She stood up from the table and held out a hand to Harry.

"Ginny! Why don't you just announce that we're going back to your room to shag?" Harry took her hand but as the twitch in his trousers had graduated to more of a pang he used his other hand to adjust himself before standing up.

"I believe I just did and it's not like they're not going back to her room to do the same thing."

Harry and Ewan exchanged sheepish smiles as they escorted their wives to their respective bedrooms. Since their wives shared a flat, this wasn't the first time they had found themselves in this situation but they both found it a bit awkward.

"Don't forget the silencing charms," Ewan said with a forced laugh.

"Likewise," Harry retorted.

Ginny pulled Harry into her room and pressed him against the door as it closed behind him. He reached for his wand and performed the silencing charm as promised. The Smiths were quickly forgotten as she captured his mouth in a hungry kiss.

"So, Harry," Ginny purred whilst slipping off her shoes and beginning to work on her trousers. "Do you have more faith in your staying power or quick recovery time tonight?"

"Er?"

"I've got to report to the dorm in exactly 47 minutes," She pulled her shirt over her head and proceeded to tug on Harry's belt. "That means we've got time for once long and slow or twice quick and dirty and it may have to hold us for a month."

Harry pulled her close and slowed her busy hands. "It's hard to choose between such very appealing options, but I want to make love to you, Gin. I think we can manage some quick and dirty in the broomshed if we get desperate. You did pack the invisibility cloak, yeah?"

"Yeah, it was the first thing in my trunk," She wrested a hand free and made quick work of the zipper on his trousers. The pang that had started as a twitch was now a full-blown hard-on. "A bit keen are we? "

"Shouldn't be a surprise. You've been teasing me all night, you minx." He unclasped her bra from the front on the first try and grinned. He was always so pleased when he got it straight away.

He rested his forehead on hers and took her lips gently. "I want to make love to you."

He allowed her to finish her work on his trousers whilst pulling his shirt off. He lowered her to the bed and started kissing her gently at the neck, pausing to spend ample time lavishing her breasts before working his way further down and settling between her thighs.

"I don't think I can go a whole month without tasting you." Harry went to work sending her over the edge.

"Merlin, but you're good at that." Ginny panted. "You should really give lessons."

"I do get a lot of practice," Harry grinned and worked his way up so that he could cover her body with his and her lips with his mouth. He teased her for just a moment before entering her slowly. "I love you."

"I love you too."

As promised Harry made almost agonizingly slow love to her. They snuggled together holding each other tight after they were both fully sated.

"I will miss your arse and other bits as well," Ginny lovingly caressed Harry's bum. "But you know I'll mostly miss just being with you."

"Me too, love," Harry sighed. "I thought we were done with this."

"I know, we'll work on it but meanwhile don't be a hermit while I'm away." Ginny made a mental note to make sure her mum and Hermione looked after him in her stead as Harry was prone to spend too much time at the office or lock himself away at Grimmauld Place when they were apart.

"I'll try," her promised weakly.

The time for them to separate came quickly. Neither relished long goodbyes so they kissed quickly and exchanged I love you's before Ginny joined Hadley in the living room in front of the fireplace. "Don't forget the plan!" she shouted out before stepping in and disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Harry supposed he should go ahead and floo back to Grimmauld Place, but the sheets were still warm on Ginny's side of the bed and he could still make out her scent. He held her pillow close to him as he drifted off into fitful sleep, determined to get his wife back as soon as possible.

Ginny made it back to the Harpies camp just in time to meet Gwenog's curfew. If the situation weren't bad enough, she drew Alex Keller as roommate. Not only was she missing Harry, she was also stuck sharing a room with his biggest fangirl since Romilda Vane.

Most of her teammates were great about her relationship with Harry. They might tease her a bit but no more than any of the other attached players. And while Ginny was the one who convinced Harry to pose for the poster for the War Orphans League, it was a bit disconcerting to see it hanging over another women's bed. Ginny swore to herself if she heard any suspicious noises coming from the other side of the room she would hex Alex's fingers together.

She quietly unpacked and gave one word answers while Alex prattled on about Harry Potter this or Harry that. She wondered if the bint really didn't understand she was rambling on to the man's wife. She settled into an unfamiliar bed, tossing and turning whilst wishing she were still in bed with Harry and vowing to owl George first thing in the morning for a prank consultation.


	3. Practice, Pranks and Parties

Chapter Three Practice, Pranks and Parties

Ginny got an owl off to George before breakfast and she had his suggestions and supplies in hand by lunchtime. She had told George that she wanted the pranks to address the problems at hand – too much practice and an unsatisfactory living situation. When she examined his ideas, her heart welled up with affection for her favorite one-eared brother. He had delivered in spades.

It took some stealth and finagling on Ginny's part but she managed to switch out Gwenog's whistle with the one George had provided just in time for the afternoon practice, the second of the day.

The already weary Harpies gathered on the pitch to await Gwenog's instructions.

"Ladies, group off in threes and line up at the endline," Gwenog bellowed. "On my whistle we will fly figure eights with the quaffle, one group at a time."

Ginny didn't understand why Gwenog was making them run such basic drills so close to the playoffs. They should be fine-tuning tactics and working on plays to exploit their upcoming opponent's weaknesses, not running the most basic drills.

Ginny and Hadley exchanged looks as they lined up with Sharolta, the other starting chaser and awaited the whistle in more ways than one.

Gwenog put the whistle to her lips and blew. Instead of the shrill noise they were expecting, a dozen faeries sprung forth from her whistle and began an intricate dance around her head.

Seemingly nonplussed, Gwenog calmly banished the faeries away with her wand and gave it another go. The team began to snicker when her second attempt produced bubbles instead of a whistle. Ginny's group was still on the line waiting for their starting signal. On the third attempt, Gwenog's mouth and nose were transfigured into a duckbill. There was no fourth attempt, as a duck can't really blow a whistle. By this time, the whole team was in hysterics and was finding it difficult to stay on their brooms. When Gwenog tried to speak and quacked instead, she calmly flew to the ground and made her way to the locker room.

It took a few minutes for the laughter to die down. Gwenog had been unable to give them instructions before she left the pitch so they looked around, not exactly sure what to do.

They hadn't been dismissed so Ginny figured that if they had to be out there, they might as well be doing something useful that might help them on Sunday.

After a moment of silence Ginny spoke. "Okay, we know from the scouting reports and our regular season matches that we outmatch the Cannons speed-wise. Their keeper is most vulnerable on his left side. Their beaters are strong and will likely bring it to us. Chasers, we need to be prepared to take some hits and beaters you need to come ready to mix it up. Let's scrimmage starters against reserves but I want to put an extra bludger in play and an extra beater for the reserves. Starters, let's try to incorporate that play that worked so well against Falmouth where we sprung Hadley up the left side early on the inbounds."

An hour passed before Gwenog was able to break the charm and lose her beak. When she returned to the pitch she quietly observed as Ginny Potter directed an inter-squad scrimmage occasionally stopping to discuss strategy amongst the team.

After a watching for a few minutes she blew the new whistle she had procured in the locker room and dismissed the team for the day without mentioning the prank at all.

"Lovely practice, Ginny," said Hadley and then in a quieter voice she added "and the prank was brilliant."

"Not exactly the response I was expecting, but it was brilliant wasn't it? George is a genius."

The afternoon following the whistle prank, Ginny and Hadley left the dining hall after lunch with their arms linked and their heads together whispering conspiratorially.

"That wasn't awkward at all," deadpanned Hadley.

"Shut it!" Ginny scowled and then laughed. "Could that have gone any worse?"

Their attempt to get an answer to the bird or blokes question from Gwenog had been, in a word, a disaster. She seemed surprised when they joined her for lunch as she generally dined alone or with the team Mediwizard. Ginny had started out strong by telling her they thought it would foster team bonding if they got to know one another better and it went downhill from there, fast.

"The look on Gwenog's face when you asked her if she thought the assumption that the majority of female quidditch players prefer witches was a fair stereotype," Ginny said.

Hadley jabbed her in the stomach. "Well your attempt to find out if she had a favorite male body part was clumsy at best. For someone who's usually so smooth, you certainly bollixed that up."

"What can I say, the woman makes me nervous and when I get nervous I either clam up altogether or chatter incessantly, so I chattered incessantly."

"Did she even answer my question about if she was stranded on a deserted island and could only take one person with her who would it be?" Hadley asked.

"Actually I don't think she spoke at all," Ginny said as they continued walking towards the pitch. "She just looked at us like she was weary of dealing with petulant children."

"I know that look." Hadley grimaced.

"I guess the aurors won't be requiring our interrogation skills anytime soon."

"Maybe we could get her drunk."

"There's no chance of that until the post-match party and by then the plan should already be unfolding," Ginny said. "We'll just have to stick to it and have one of each. How's that coming on your end?"

"The bird is all lined up. She'll attend the match with Ewan and meet up with us at the pub after the match."

"Who is it?" Ginny asked but spoke again before Hadley could answer. "You know what, I don't really want to know. As long as she is attractive, willing and able."

"We're good then. How's Harry coming on his end?"

"I've got an appointment with him in the broomshed at midnight," Ginny smiled wickedly. "I'll get an update then."

"Mind you don't get so caught up in shagging Harry that you forget the plan."

"I have every intention of shagging Harry rotten, but I won't forget."

By that time they had reached the center of the pitch where they were scheduled to meet the mind healer for a team bonding exercise. It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm, but not too warm. If they hadn't already had a grueling practice that morning, Ginny would be looking forward to spending the afternoon on the pitch.

She had to begrudgingly admit that the mind healer wasn't a total tosser. True, most of the team bonding activities had been a bit ridiculous, but the pocket pensieve filled with positive memories from each of her teammates was brilliant. It was like watching one of those programs Ron liked to watch on Hermione's muggle twelly of all the best sports plays, except they were all of her as seen from the perspective of those who played alongside her. It was enlightening to see how her teammates perceived her play and watching it _did_ make her feel like a bloody good quidditch player. It _almost _made up for having to hold hands after dinner last night, look each player in the eye and tell them what she liked most about them. Seriously, what could she possibly say about her spectacularly annoying roommate Alex, who went to bed drooling over a poster of her husband every night – that she had good taste in men?

Apparently, the ridiculous had taken a turn to the downright insane this afternoon.

"The cornerstone to any successful team is trust," the mind healer whose name Ginny could never seem to remember addressed the team. "The chasers and seeker must trust that the beaters will be there to protect them from the bludgers. The keeper must trust the other players on the field to contribute to team defense and protect the goal from being overexposed. The team must trust the seeker to be aware of what's happening in the match without losing focus on tracking the snitch. Without trust there is no team."

"I _trust _that if she doesn't get on with this I'm going to fall asleep standing up," Ginny whispered and garnered snickers from her teammates that were standing close by.

"Today's team bonding drill will allow you to demonstrate the trust that you have in your fellow Harpies," the healer continued. "All players are to take to the air in a standard formation. In turn, one player will ascend 50 meters over the center of the pitch and on my signal will dismount her broom, trusting her teammates to halt her fall and levitate her until she can be safely lowered to the ground."

The Harpies let out a collective gasp and several curses were uttered.

"Let me make sure I'm clear on this," said Hadley. "When you blow your whistle, one of us is to shoot up 50 meters, take a diving header off our broom and trust that our teammates will save us from plummeting to certain death and/or dismemberment."

"It sounds a bit crude when you put it that way, but that's it in a nutshell," said the healer a bit too cheerfully.

"Right," Hadley gave a weak thumbs up and pulled a "is this woman crazy" face.

"Everyone will get a turn. Who will start us off?"

Almost to a witch, the team began to inch away from the healer. Even the usually unflappable Gwenog Jones seemed a bit taken aback at the suggested activity and did not volunteer to take the first go.

Ginny looked from her teammates to the healer and her eyes took on her infamous blazing look.

"Sod it." She stepped forward with her broom. "You bints better catch me and my broom. If there is a twig out of alignment I'll have all your arses."

She endorsed the Firebolt brand and was provided with the latest models as soon as they were released, but Ginny still flew the Firebolt Extreme Harry had given her for her first birthday after the war. She had never sat a more comfortable broom and her sentimental side liked having a connection to Harry when she was in the air. In her mind, broken bones could be repaired but that broom was irreplaceable.

Ginny, her broom and the rest of the Harpies survived the drill and the remaining two days leading up to the match. They entered the stadium tired, but determined to put on a good show for the fans whilst taking it to their first round opponents.

Ginny smiled when she glanced over at the friends and family box as she circled the pitch. All the red hair made the Weasleys easy to pick out in any crowd but it was even easier today thanks to her brother Ron.

No one could accuse him of being an unenthusiastic quidditch fan. Besides Harry, he was probably his baby sister's biggest supporter, and though he would always bleed Cannons orange, he had become quite the Harpies fan. His loyalties were being seriously tested, as the Harpies' first round opponents were his beloved Chudley Cannons, the same Chudley Cannons who were making their first playoff appearance in almost a century. His appearance expressed his conflict. He was covered in paint from head to toe, Chudley orange on the left side and Holyhead green on the right. His shorts showed support for the Cannons but he proudly wore Ginny's number seven Harpies' jersey across his chest. To finish off his ensemble, he sported a sock of each color. He made quite the spectacle and she loved him for it.

Ron's orangeness led Ginny's thoughts to some of the pranks they had pulled on Gwenog this week and her disturbing lack of response to any of them. Besides charming her whistle, a combination of a special WWW powder and a spell on her door charmed Gwenog's clothing and hair Chudley orange every time she left her room. Since Ginny had _never_ seen Gwenog in anything other than Harpy green or black even at social and formal occasions, she thought it was sure to rattle her. Gwenog showed up at practice, breakfast, lunch and dinner covered in orange (which was not a good color for her), but never uttered a peep. No threats, no accusations, no nothing.

And then two days ago, Ginny and Hadley waited for the explosion after Gwenog returned to her room after their afternoon training session. She knew it was juvenile but they had stuck all her furniture to the ceiling with a permanent sticking charm. Gwenog had turned her living conditions into a nightmare and Ginny was happy to return the favor. They waited and waited and the explosion never came. In fact, she never left the room. Ginny was pretty sure that Gwenog wouldn't be able to break the charm on her own and if she entered her room at this moment the furniture would still be on the ceiling. Still Gwenog said nothing and that was about to send Ginny round the twist.

Ginny brought her thoughts back to the present. She flew by the box, gave her family a wave and blew a kiss to Harry and Teddy before putting all thoughts but quidditch out of her mind and taking her position in the air to wait for the opening whistle.

It should have been a relatively easy match for the Harpies. The Cannons had made the playoffs by the skin of their teeth and the Harpies had destroyed them not once, but twice in the regular season. However, Gwenog's extreme training regime was starting to take its toll and her players were flat out exhausted. Four hours into the match they were only up on the Cannons by 20 points when the snitch elected to make its appearance. Fortunately, the Harpies' seeker spotted it well before the Cannons', and she had it in her hand before he was able to give much of a chase.

The post-match party started at The Leaky Cauldron and was pretty low-key for a team that had just won a playoff match. The Harpies were scattered around the pub visiting with friends and family and Seamus Finnigan was chatting up a couple of witches at the bar. The hardcore group of fans that followed the team pretty much everywhere was busy mingling with the players and rehashing the match with anyone that would listen. The consensus was that the Harpies did not play like a team destined to win a championship this year.

Ginny and Harry apparated to the pub with Justin Richards in tow. They immediately sought out Gwenog and made the introduction. They spent an awkward few minutes trying to generate conversation but despite Justin's obvious charm, Gwenog didn't say much. Ginny had always been a bit intimidated by her captain but she was just beginning to realize that Gwenog was incredibly difficult to engage in conversation, period.

They were just about to give it up as a bad job when Hadley and Kelly Scott, _the bird._ joined them. Hadley introduced Kelly around and conversation picked up a bit as she and Gwenog were acquainted, having run across each other on the pitch from time to time. They talked quidditch and Justin joined in like the smooth operator he was. Ginny, Harry and Hadley eventually excused themselves and hoped nature would take its course. If she was to wager on it, Ginny would have put her money on birds as Gwenog's response to Kelly had been more positive and Hadley was right, she was attractive.

More than an hour had passed and with the Butter Beer Edge, fire whiskey and muggle ale flowing freely, conversation at the corner booth where Ginny, Harry, Hadley, Ewan, Ron and Hermione were holding court began to flow as well.

"Arrrgh, this is so frustrating," Ginny said between gulps of ale. "We played liked shite _and _I've got splinters in my arse from being forced to shag in the club's broomshed like a randy teenager."

"Well, technically you are still a teenager for another month, and the fact that you have been shagging in a broomshed attests to your randiness," observed Hermione.

"I am a married, adult witch, thank you. I thought I was done shagging in broomsheds when I left Hogwarts."

Ron spewed his drink across the table, and goggled at Ginny as Hermione attempted to mop up the spilled lager.

"Did I just say that out loud?" Ginny asked.

"Nice going, Love," Harry said.

"Ginny Weasley!" Hermione said. "Harry wasn't even at Hogwarts your seventh year. Do you mean to tell me you and Harry were shagging all the way back in your fifth year!"

"Oh get a grip, Hermione. It's no secret that Harry came to all my matches and managed to sneak into the castle from time to time seventh year. And it's Potter by the way."

"Good, I'd hate to think you became a scarlet woman at fifteen." Ginny could hold her liquor pretty well for such a small witch and was only a little buzzed, but Hermione was a lightweight and her tongue had already been considerably loosened.

Harry looked from Ginny to Hermione expecting bat bogies at the least, if not an Avada Kedavra. Ginny did not take kindly to being called a scarlet woman, whether it was _The Daily Prophet_ or her best friend making the insinuation.

"Scarlet woman! Well I like that. We were engaged to be married at the time which is more than I can say for you Ms. Hermione 'I'm too focused on my career to get married right now but I'm happy to shack up with you" Granger!"

"Ginny, play nice and please don't tell any more of our secrets," Harry said whilst checking to make sure her wand was still in her pocket.

"All this is beside the point." Ginny waved her hand in front of her as if to banish the current topic of conversation. "We barely made it by the Cannons today and no offense Ron, but they're awful."

"But it's the Cannons, Gin." Ron's long face expressed exactly how he felt about the Cannons' early departure from the play-offs.

"Sorry, but if we look like this against Puddlemere next week, we will have no chance. We're overtraining and everyone knows that I play better when I'm getting regular sex!"

In the midst of this exchange, Ron put his hands over his hears and began singing rather loudly, "I can't hear you! I can't hear you!"

"Yes, I remember reading an article about that in _The Daily Prophet _or was it _Witch Weekly_," Ewan said.

"_Witch Weekly_," said Hermione. " They hinted your scoring slump at the end of last season had to do with Harry spending his mandatory month abroad when he was finishing his auror training and you not getting any."

"Exactly how eight goals per match is considered a scoring slump, I'm sure I don't know." Ginny pouted.

"Well, when your average is twelve," said Harry.

"Still eight per match is better than ninety percent of the chasers in the league." Ron would know. He was a virtual encyclopedia of quidditch statistics.

"Thanks Ron," Ginny said feeling vindicated.

"It's only a little disturbing that you're more upset that they questioned your quidditch prowess than the speculation about your sex life or lack thereof," said Hadley.

"If I got upset every time something was published about our sex life or the state of our marriage I'd be upset all the time. I'm embracing it. I've started a scrap book."

"Something to show the grandchildren," Harry gave his wife a squeeze around the shoulders and a kiss on the forehead. He was proud of how Ginny had learned to handle the press, as it seemed like they were destined to be a constant, if annoying, presence in their lives. She rarely lost her temper any more and did her best to find some humor in it.

"Back to the matter at hand," Ginny called the group to attention. "If the plan doesn't work, I'm going to have to just witch up and confront Gwenog."

"Speaking of the plan, how's it working out so far?" asked Ewan.

"Let's have a look shall we," said Hadley.

The three couples turned as one to find Justin Richards with a witch pressed up against the bar, kissing her fiercely.

"That looks promising," said Hadley.

"Guess it's blokes then," Harry opined.

Justin shifted a bit to the right revealing his snogging partner.

"Oh, that's not good."

"Hadley, I thought you said she was…"

"Are you sure she's a quidditch player?"

Harry, Ginny and Ewan all turned to Hadley and spoke at once.

The witch he was kissing had come into full view and it was _no_t Gwenog Jones. It was Kelly Scott. Gwenog was sitting alone at the bar nursing her ale.

"Maybe she's switched teams?" Hadley said sheepishly.

At that instant, Justin and Kelly broke apart. Justin whispered in her ear then took her hand and they made their way to the door. Justin gave Harry a mock salute and a cheeky grin, Kelly gave a little wave to Hadley and they left the pub together.

"As far as plans go, I'd have to say that one was an epic fail," Ron said using his gift for always stating the obvious.

Ginny groaned and put her head in her hands whilst Harry called for a round of Odgen's for the table.


	4. The Payoff

Chapter Four

The Payoff

Ginny rose the next morning determined to have a serious chat with Gwenog. The only problem was she couldn't find her anywhere. She wasn't at breakfast, but she had left instructions for the starters to complete a light workout in the pool and had scheduled a time for each of them to see the Mediwizard for treatment as well as a rub down. The assistant coach was to run a conditioning session and regular practice for the reserves.

Ginny went by Gwenog's office and the locker room after spending some time in the pool, but Gwenog was nowhere in sight. Ginny had no luck tracking her down after seeing the Mediwizard nor did she show for dinner.

"Still no sign of her then?" Hadley was waiting in Ginny's room when she returned from checking Gwenog's quarters one more time before lights out.

"None," said Ginny. "On the bright side, this is the most sensible day of training we've had since we made the playoffs."

"Right in one on that," said Hadley. "So what's the plan? I know your devious mind has been working on it all day."

"Hopefully I can talk some sense in her tomorrow. I've had myself worked up to confront her all day and she's disappeared. I'm so frustrated."

"And if she doesn't respond to reason?"

"Then the gloves come off." Ginny said firmly. "I'm not going to lose this championship after working my arse off all year just because Gwenog's gone off her nut."

Ginny rumbled around in her trunk and pulled out Harry's invisibility cloak.

"Off to the broomshed to relieve some of that frustration then?" Hadley asked. "Can I borrow that if I can get Ewan here tomorrow?"

"What are teammates for?" Ginny smiled and left the room with the cloak in tow.

Ginny stealthily slipped into the broomshed, removed the invisibility cloak and quietly pulled the door closed behind her. It was barely shut when she felt two strong arms surround her from behind.

"Cashing in a chit for quick and dirty are we, love?" she said as she turned around, lit her wand and found herself gazing into a pair of bright blue eyes.

Wait, blue eyes! Ginny let out a shriek when she realized the raven-hair she thought she was running her fingers through was red instead.

"What are you …," Ginny started as Harry came bursting through the door with his wand drawn.

"Stupefy!" Harry shouted and the man in Ginny's arms slumped to the ground. "Ginny, I heard you scream. Are you all right?"

"I'm fine Harry," she answered breathing heavily. " But you've stunned Charlie."

"I guess the upside is that if I had to find my wife in a broomshed with another man, at least it was one of her brothers," Harry, always the auror, circled the broomshed with his wand still drawn to make sure it was really secure. "What is Charlie doing here?

"I have no idea. It was dark when I got here and I felt arms around me before I lit my wand. I thought it was you!" Ginny shuddered. "Merlin's beard, I almost snogged my brother!"

"Let's wake him up and find out why he's here."

"I hope nothing's wrong at home."

Just as Harry bent down to revive his brother-in-law the door creaked open and Gwenog Jones slid in. If she was surprised to find Harry and Ginny Potter in the Holyhead Harpies broomshed at midnight standing over the prone form of Charlie Weasley, she didn't let on.

"Why am I not surprised to find the two of you out here?" she drawled.

"Er," Harry started but something inside Ginny snapped. The excess training, the miserable showing against Chudley and the sparse time with Harry had combined to whittle away any hesitation she had about confronting her coach. Ginny forgot all about her unconscious brother. It was time to witch up.

"Perhaps you are not surprised to find us out here because we are a young, healthy, not to mention married couple who have been forced to sneak around in a broomshed because my completely mental quidditch captain has the team locked up in the dorms like naughty schoolgirls!" Ginny's temper and color rose as she hit her stride and she showed no signs of slowing down.

Harry felt a familiar twitch in his trousers as Ginny was rapidly approaching full-on warrior mode. Damn, it was sexy especially when it wasn't directed at him. He could not let his thoughts linger in that direction for long as he had a stunned brother-in-law to deal with.

Harry quietly enervated Charlie and offered a hand to help him up from the floor. Charlie rubbed the back of his neck and attempted to get his bearings. It only took a moment for him to assess the situation. He had enough experience with Weasley women in a temper to cut his sister a wide berth, so he watched quietly whilst Ginny took Gwenog to task.

"And you're killing our chances of repeating as league champions. We're working too hard and all the players are worn out. We barely got past the Cannons because we are exhausted and _they_ suck. We won't be that lucky against Puddlemere. All this extra training would be fine and useful if we were in pre-season and needed to get in shape, but we're not in pre-season. We're at the end of a long, grueling season and all this extra work is accomplishing nothing except diminishing our chances of taking the championship. And furthermore, all this team bonding shite would have been well and good at the start of the season, but if we're not a team by now, no mind healer is going to fix it. And the crazy thing is, you know all this. You're bloody Gwenog Jones, one of the best to ever play the game _or_ field a team. So, what are you on about?!"

Ginny finally paused to take a breath and Gwenog eyed her appraisingly.

"I'm retiring as a player," Gwenog said quietly. Gwenog's customary ramrod straight posture gave way at this and her shoulders slumped slightly.

Ginny considered this for a moment. She looked her captain in the eye and instead of the fierce, unbending look she was used to, she saw something that looked a lot like vulnerability flicker in her hazel eyes. The light went on and Ginny understood. "So, this is your last championship. That's why you've been acting like such a bi–"

Harry cleared his throat.

"Did I say that out loud?"

"I'll continue on as coach, but you're correct," Gwenog said. "This is my last chance to win the trophy as a player. I realized last night that in my zeal to win one more I had gone a bit mental."

"Only a bit?" Ginny asked.

"I really have you and your cohorts to thank for the revelation," Gwenog ignored the dig and continued. "I've been trying to figure out how you've gone from being barely able to utter a complete sentence in my presence to pranking me for all you're worth over the last couple weeks. Then there was your rather clumsy attempt to entangle me with a willing bloke…or bird. It was obvious you were unhappy with the new living arrangements and that you thought I needed a distraction, but that didn't explain why you would disrupt training. You're a fierce competitor and I know you want to win this title almost as much as I do. You wouldn't disrupt practice this late in the season for a gag, so you must have thought you had a damn good reason. I realized after we flew like the living dead yesterday that my over enthusiastic training schedule was the reason. So, thank you. You may have saved me from self-destructing my last championship run."

Although she could lie like a Slytherin when pressed, Ginny realized there was no point in trying to deny that she was behind the pranks. Gwenog had read her like a book. She would decide how she felt about that later. "Er, thanks?" she responded lamely.

"You know Potter, juvenile pranks and pathetic matchmaking attempts aside, you've shown some real leadership this season, especially while I've been having my little crisis."

Ginny's eyes grew wide at this. Gwenog wasn't one to mince words or offer praise lightly. "Er, thanks," she stumbled out again.

"No, you stepped up during that ridiculous trust exercise and that was one hell of a practice you ran while I was attending to my whistle," Gwenog said. "Even though you're young, the other players respect you. You're very talented and you work harder than anyone except for maybe me. I'd like you to consider taking over as captain next season."

In spite of her newly found boldness with Gwenog, this left Ginny completely mute.

"I can see I've left you speechless," said Gwenog. "Think about it and we can talk tomorrow after training. We'll be reviewing the scouting reports on Puddlemere and perfecting plays that will best exploit their weaknesses."

Ginny just nodded.

"Potter," Gwenog said, gesturing to Harry before looking Charlie up and down and licking her lips. "Everyone knows your wife plays better when she's getting regular sex. Take her home and attend to it won't you? That's an order."

Harry nodded eagerly and moved towards Ginny.

"One quick question first." Ginny finally remembered that she and Gwenog weren't alone in the broomshed. "It's no secret what Harry and I are doing out here, but could someone please explain what you're doing out here with my brother who is too busy tending his dragons to attend his only sister's playoff match?"

Charlie pinkened slightly and stepped forward to wrap an arm around Ginny and kiss her on the top of the head. "Hey Spitfire."

"That's easy," said Gwenog who was now openly leering at Charlie. "Even though I don't take out ads in _Witch Weekly _about it, it's no secret that I play better when I'm getting regular sex too. I've had some flown in fresh from Romania, so beat it would you?"

"And in case you haven't figured it out, it's blokes, not birds," she added before anyone could respond.

"I'll make a note of that for future reference," Ginny said a bit dumbfounded. She recovered quickly and took her husband's hand. "Harry, I believe you are under orders to take me home and shag me, so let's get after it."

"Awwww, Gin," whined Charlie. "I could have gone my whole life without hearing that. Have a heart. I've already been stunned tonight _and_ traumatized by the quick and dirty remark."

Ginny looked over her shoulder at Charlie and then said in a tone that brooked no argument, "We'll talk tomorrow."

Harry shrugged his shoulders at Charlie and Gwenog before happily following his wife out the door.

The second the door closed, Gwenog pounced on Charlie and laughed. "Just wait until they get home and figure out I put aCaterwauling Charm on Ginny's knickers. They'll screech like a banshee as soon as he comes within an inch of her."

"Brilliant."

"Payback's a bitch," she said drolly.

"I wouldn't expect it will slow them down much though," Charlie said. "Unfortunately, it's common knowledge amongst their family and friends that Ginny's a bit of a howler."

The End


End file.
